In the first few months of 1990, I had a recurring dream about a very close friend – sometimes I would remember the whole thing, sometimes just snippets. At the peak, I even found myself entering a state of lucid dream; aware I was in the dream yet conscious of shaping the experience.
In the dream, my friend was confused, unable to commit to a future event. Some nights he was certain it would happen, and others he would shake his head: “no”. Sometimes he would sit silently and nothing I could do could bring him out of his shell.
Before I had chance to reach out to him
[this was pre-internet and I didn’t have international dialing at my student housing]
a mutual friend called me and asked if I’d heard. My friend had been going through deep depression and, exhausted, had experienced a nervous breakdown.
Thankfully, he had sought the help of friends and had stabilized.
Later that year, we met and, over a bottle of tequila, I shared what had been happening over those months.
He smiled, still full of melancholy, and told me that I hadn’t been the only one. At least 3 other people had experienced similar recurring dreams of his confusion and isolation.
Fast forward to this morning and I lurch awake at 5 a.m. dreaming of another friend. A different milieu, but another long conversation. The dream contained imagery:
- Meeting on April 14th to celebrate another, named but unknown person’s passing (foretold in the dream as a suicide – in response to being diagnosed with cancer)
- That meeting to be held on a bridge over a river in Los Angeles
- We would bring red balloons as a mark of commemoration
I noted these details, and lay awake for a while, knowing my morning alarm was soon due.
As soon as I was up and about I dropped my friend a note and we texted for a little while. I learned that he was at the hospital for his first chemo treatment
[having recently been operated on for a cancerous growth]
which is thankfully a “clean-up” regime to prevent spread to other areas of the body.
He is in good spirits and surrounded with the love of friends and family.
I’m glad I reached out, and I’m glad we chatted.
I wish I’d known enough back in 1990 to realize that my dreams were a signal to pay attention and reach out
[although that did eventually happen and things turned out OK]
and I’m glad that much-older me has learned to pay attention when these signals appear.
Note, I’m not making claim to how or why this happens – I can argue a deeply spiritual, energy-driven metaphysical justification every bit as strongly as I can logical “sub-conscious-working-it-out”
[for what it’s worth, I think it’s somewhere between those two poles]
All I know is that, this morning, I connected with a good friend and we shared some time and good energy with each other – at a time when we both needed some of that.
Before I leave you, there is one other fragment of the dream that I should share.
After the April 14th red balloon celebration in LA, my dream-self visited a tattoo parlor and inked a Beatles lyric* on my inner forearm:
“And in the end the love you take
is equal to the love you make”
I know where it will be on my arm. Now to make the booking.
We are always a force for love in this world, even it sometimes takes dreams to remind us.
Who do you dream of? What do they need you to do? Who do you need to be for them?
Love-Peace-Trust
Vince
* And, how fitting that the earlier verse has the lyric “Oh yeah, alright, are you going to be in my dreams tonight?”
